Sunday, August 17, 2008

Sept. 1st- Loofah Day

Whereas millions of Americans despise Bill O'Reilly as a loathsome polluter of the airwaves, fanning ignorance and hatred with every word he utters,

Whereas no opportunity should be missed to expose this contemptible scoundrel to ridicule,

Whereas at 11.06 pm on September 1, 2004 the above-mentioned O'Reilly made a lewd phone call to his Fox producer Andrea Mackris, depicting a prospective sexual encounter between the two of them in which "You would basically be in the shower and then I would come in and I'd join you and you would have your back to me and I would take the little loofa thing… and kinda' soap your back … and I would put it around front, kinda' rub your tummy with it and then with my other hand I would start to massage your boobs, get your nipples really hard… 'cuz I like that and you have really spectacular boobs….I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda kissing your neck from behind… and then the other hand with the felafel thing"….

Whereas this conversation was recorded by Ms Mackriss and subsequently exposed to public scrutiny in court documents,

Whereas this engendered mirth among the millions of O'Reilly haters and much satisfaction at his humiliation,

Be it proclaimed that September 1, 2008 will be recognized as Loofah Day and citizens should honor it by proceeding at noon to the nearest Fox studio with a loofah and, standing outside the Fox studio, brandish said loofahs in mirthfull derision of O'Reilly.

sent in by kddove

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